big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
