I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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