Fuck appropriateness.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
