ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
