similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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