i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
