Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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