This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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