You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
