My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
