I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also, beer. Big fan.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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