Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
