you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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