im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I will be naked everywhere
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
