the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
