Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
how does that bad decision feel?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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