So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
