i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
