that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
