their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize