My room smells like vodka and shame
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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