i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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