His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
