I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
