what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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