What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize