This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
