Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
