Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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