I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
