I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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