Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
