look no pants
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
