i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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