And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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