Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
