I will die if light touches me.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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