I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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