But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
