don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
