I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
