I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
