I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
