I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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