never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
