Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize