Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
