so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
