we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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