anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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