I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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