Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize