I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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