everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
