I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
