Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
