Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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