yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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