What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
