Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Someone shattered a urinal.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
